Getting Past The Awkward Hello: Taking A Risk To Make New Friends

Dressed and prepared for the day's adventure, you instinctively reach for your keys, only to hesitate at the last moment. You eagerly signed up for the Women's social club group hike you saw on Instagram, but you don’t know anyone and are starting to second guess yourself. The nerves in your stomach turn, the anxious thoughts battle it out inside your head. 

“You don’t know any one, it won’t be any fun”

“You said you would go, let's do this!” 

“You aren’t fit enough to hike”

“You will make friends, it’s going to be fine”

Stay or go. 

You can’t decide. 

Taking a deep breath, deciding to keep the promise you made to yourself. To get out there and try new things. To make friends, be more active and to befriend the feeling of being a tad uncomfortable. With fingers clinching the keys, you head for the door. 

Arriving at the trailhead, you see the group of women gathering as you park your car. Nervously you walk up to the group. “Hi, I’m Jessica.” a girl says to you in a friendly tone. Your shoulders relax and you introduce yourself. “See, I told you this wouldn’t be so bad” your brain whispers to you. 

Once on the trail you get to know those around you, quickly realizing you aren’t the only newbie. Showing up is hard, but it’s the hardest part about making new friends. In an article by NPR regarding making friends after a move,  Baynard Jackson reminds us, “You may be tempted to bail after your first meeting, but Bayard Jackson reminds us that for recurring interest groups, it's crucial to commit to showing up more than once, because it changes the way you engage with new people, like "you're almost auditioning them," she says.

"So I often challenge my clients to go three times to an event before they make up their mind, because this allows you to say, 'Oh, you mentioned that your dog was sick last month. How are things going with that?' And it gives us a chance to build [a relationship]."

Joining groups and making friends takes effort and requires a bit of vulnerability. Asking questions beyond “what do you do for work” and “what part of town do you live in” can help get to know others in a meaningful way. In Laura Tramanie’s book The Life Council: Ten Friends Every Woman Needs, Laura makes a great point in regard to being intentional with friends. “friendship is an item on your To Do list, just like cleaning the bathroom or getting your oil changed.” 

Meeting friends on a group hike is the first step, taking the relationship off the trial is the next. Swapping numbers and Instagram follows is a perfect way to be intentional about building relationships after attending a Girl Get After It meet up. Don’t be afraid to send the happy birthday text to the girl you met last week at yoga. 

In a world filled with opportunities for connection and adventure, showing up and being brave are key to building community, but on the other side of an awkward hello is a life full of adventure and community. 

If you’re looking to find a group of adventure gals, learn more about attending a Girl Get After It event near you.